Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Eleanor Clare Paye: January 10, 2005 - October 13, 2010

Elle fought the good fight for longer than anyone thought she would. When she passed away this morning both her dad and her mom were with her. Elle went quietly, peacefully  and in no pain. She went on her terms. Which was the way she did everything in her life.

Elle was the kind of girl that you felt lucky to know or to meet. And if you were fortunate enough to be her parent (as we are), you felt like you won the lottery every day of the week. She was sweet, generous, well as cantankerous and sassy. Smart, silly and sometimes stunningly insightful, she was an old soul from the day she was born.

Elle loved flowers, dancing and music (especially the Beatles and Big Time Rush). She loved to eat Fruit Rollups late at night and drink chocolate milk early in the morning. She loved the Red Sox, hated the Yankees and respected the Phillies (that's a direct quote). Her favorite all-time food was steak. Medium-rare steak. She ate half a pound of it not two weeks ago...and ribeye to boot. Her latest achievement, and one that set her chest to bursting with pride, was being able to write out her whole name. Eleanor.

Her favorite non-humans were her two cats, Winnie and Beezus (Winnie is pictured above). Winnie and Elle had a very special relationship. They were sisters. Winnie always followed Elle around and slept on her bed. And when she needed it, Winnie would stick to her side and never leave her.

Elle was not only a wonderful daughter and great girl...but she was a super sister. And lucky enough to have the best big brother in the world. David and Elle fought like brother and sister will, but they loved and defended each other with a constancy and devotion that was something to behold. And he loved to make her laugh.

Elle was so inspiring. She never once asked "Why me?" She never once said "I want to quit." Once she understood what had happened in March of 2009, she simply set her mind to beating the cancer. And for a long, long time, she did. And then she decided it was time. She decided...and in doing that, she did win.

She is our Half-Pint and our Shipoopi Tumnus. She is our Elle-Belle, Ellabean, Ellie Minelli and our Foofy-Doo. And I use "is" purposefully, because she will always be these things and everything I mentioned before. She will always be Ellie. And we will always love her.

You did great, sweetheart. We love you.


Saturday, October 2, 2010


Elle just got her latest scans back. The growth of the tumor had stopped everywhere...except for one new part that grew up along the height of her lung.

It's so damned frustrating to see something work once and then take a step back the next. Especially when Elle is still fighting and has energy and isn't giving in.

But if there is an upside, it is that we may (finally!) get to do radiation treatment. We've been pushing for this for months and it looks like we may finally get it. And the idea of embolizing the tumor where possible is also going forward. And we are still going to do the chemo.

In happier news, Elle likes Kindergarten quite a bit! She has been going for about a month now and really enjoys all the art they get to do. She takes it easy and has to rest now and again, but she has fun. Elle is still doing dance as well. And if there is a five-year-old girl already looking forward to Christmas more than her, I'd be shocked.

Please keep Elle in your prayers. And keep your fingers crossed that these next measures get us back on track.